旅行社澳洲版搞笑对白

2016-05-13 10:51:38

来自澳洲旅行社网站工作人员回答客户的提问时,形成如下典型澳洲搞笑幽默版:

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

提问:澳洲有大风天气吗?我从没有看见电视天气预报说澳洲有雨,植物怎麽会生长呢?(英国)

回答:我们进口各种长好的植物,然后就坐下来观察它们慢慢死亡


Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

提问:有可能在街上看到袋鼠吗?(美国)

回答:这得看你醉酒的程度。


Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

提问:我想步行从帕斯到悉尼—我能不能沿铁路沿线?(瑞典)

回答:行啊,只有3000公里的行程,带上足够的水。


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of? (英国)

提问:澳洲有没有换钞机,你能给我列一份它们在布里斯班,堪斯,唐斯韦尔,和微海滩的表格吗?

回答:你以为我是你的奴隶吗?


Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

提问:澳洲的北方在哪里?(美国)

回答:面朝南然后转一百八十度,当你到达这里后,跟我们联系,我们再告诉你寻找的方向。


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

提问:能带餐具进入澳大利亚吗?(英国)

回答:为什麽?就用你的五指,像我们一样。


Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

提问:在澳洲能穿高跟鞋吗?(英国)

回答:你是英国政治家,是吗?


Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

提问:悉尼有超市吗?能全年提供牛奶吗?(德国)

回答:我们是和平的素食狩猎文明,牛奶不合法。


Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

提问:请送一份全澳州能提供响尾蛇血清的医生名单吗?(美国)

回答:响尾蛇生活在美洲你所居住的地方,全澳州地蛇都是完美无毒性的,安全并可以驯养成宠物。


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

提问:我有一个问题是关于一种澳洲著名动物的,但我忘了它的名字,是一种熊,而且住在树上.(美国)

回答:它是掉熊,这样叫是因为他们从橡胶树掉下来吃那些走到树下人的脑子,你可以吓跑他在你出行之前,撒一泡人尿。


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

提问:我生产一种新式的青春泉,你能告诉我澳大利亚那里可以卖出去?(美国)

回答:任何地方.在美国人聚集的人群.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy )

A: Yes, gay night clubs.

提问:你能告诉我塔斯马尼亚那些地方女人比男人少吗?(意大利)

回答:是的,男性俱乐部。


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)

A: Only at Christmas.

提问:澳大利亚人庆祝圣诞节吗?(法国)

回答:只在圣诞节的时候.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

提问:我去的大多数地方能讲英语吗?(美国)

回答:是的,你得先学英语.

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